Wrapped around His Finger
by PaperclipHearts
Summary: Tony has a plan to prank everyone for April Fools' Day. Team fic, collaboration between Anonymous033 and ZandVsupporter.
1. Phase One

A/N: :O I forgot to publish this! Lol I'm so busy doing everything else these days. So here's the story for April Fools'! It'll consist of six chapters, the first written by me (Soph), the last written by Ash. It's more of a team fic. Enjoy!

Summary: Tony has a plan to prank everyone for April Fools' Day.

Disclaimer: Ash and I spent the entire of yesterday trying to figure out Cote de Pablo's vocal range. We thought that if we could figure it out she would convince Bellisario to let us own NCIS. We've decided that she's a mezzo-soprano. NCIS? No go.

.::.

**Wrapped around His Finger**

.::.**  
**

**I. Phase One**

.::.

It was the perfect plan. It was one she would never suspect.

Tony watched Ziva as she entered the bullpen on a sunny Wednesday morning. She went behind her desk and plunked down her bag, her beautiful brown curls swaying gently as she glanced over to smile at him.

"Good morning, Tony."

"Good morning, Ziva." Tony grinned at her, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Had a good night?"

"Quite. _The Terminator _was on TV."

"I see," she answered disinterestedly as she swept her hair over her shoulder and began to power up her computer.

"Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton. It's a really good movie, you know."

"I know about it, Tony." Ziva replied in amusement as she sat down, looking up at him.

He propped his feet up on his desk and folded his hands behind his head, leaning back into his chair and observing her. "So how was your night?"

"Pretty good. I actually got to turn in early, for once."

"We all did, Ziver," Gibbs interrupted as he strode into the bullpen with a cup of coffee. "But McGee here still looks like he needs more sleep." All three turned their heads to look at McGee, who was fast asleep, his head on his keyboard and his mouth slightly agape. Tony tossed a ball of paper across the bullpen, hitting McGee squarely on the cheek and making him jump. He sat up violently to find Gibbs right in front of his desk, staring him down.

"Uh…uh…sorry, Boss."

"Don't apologize, McGee! C'mon, we got a case!" Gibbs threw the keys to Tony and walked out of the bullpen, the other three agents scrambling to catch up with him. Tony watched Ziva out of the corner of his eyes as they waited for the elevator. She was standing perfectly still beside him, her face expressionless.

It was too perfect. She didn't suspect anything at all.

.::.

The elevator dinged and Abby looked up, smiling at McGee as he shuffled into her lab carrying an evidence box, and looking dead on his feet. "Hey, McGee. What's eating you?"

McGee placed the box on her lab table. "I stayed up all night writing a chapter for my new book."

"Ooh, goodie! So what's happening between agents Tommy and Lisa?"

"Nothing yet, but I'm thinking of letting them have some kind of romantic thing going on later in the book." McGee tried to hold back his yawn, but finally gave in. "Gibbs sent me down here to give you these."

Abby dragged the evidence box towards herself. "Thank you. Here, have some of my Caf-Pow!" She plonked the humongous cup down in front of McGee and started unpacking the box enthusiastically.

"Thanks." McGee took a few grateful sips of the caffeinated drink.

"So I hear you guys found the body in the middle of the woods."

"Yeah, we did. As usual, Tony whined all the way there." He blinked sleepily and put down the cup as Abby chuckled to herself. "Anyway I gotta get back to the bullpen, Abs, or Gibbs is gonna kill me."

"Okay. Bye!" Abby called after the junior field agent as he dragged his feet back to the elevator. She frowned worriedly. McGee was overworking himself, and he needed to relax a little and have more fun. And then it hit her, and she brightened.

She had just thought of the perfect idea.

.::.

"Psssst. Ziva," Tony hissed at her, his eyes darting around the bullpen to check for signs of the Boss or the Probie.

"What?" Ziva asked without looking away from her computer.

Tony got up from his desk and sauntered over to her, crossing his arms as he leant against her table. "I just had the greatest idea."

"You have many ideas, Tony, but none of them are great, so I am not sure I want to hear it," Ziva murmured.

"Well, you'll want to hear this one." He bent down to her ear. "Competition, you and me. Let's pull pranks on the others on April Fools' and see who wins."

His breath tickled her skin, and she shuddered involuntarily. She looked sharply up at him. "Are you insane? Gibbs will have our heads."

He frowned. "Since when did you lose your sense of adventure?"

"Since before I had one," she retorted, turning back to her computer to continue with her typing.

He spun her chair around, making her gasp, and placed one hand on either armrest. "It'll be fun."

She furrowed her brows at the face that was one inch from hers. "Why do you want to do this, Tony?" She asked, her voice uncharacteristically soft.

He paused and thought. "This team needs some light, some laughter. Look at poor Probie, constantly falling asleep. He needs something big to wake him up. We have to be the ones to do it."

"And why us?"

"Because it's my idea, and because I've already told you about it, so I won't be able to prank you anymore. The next logical step will of course be to enlist your help in the form of a competition."

Ziva stared at his lips. "So what happens if I win?"

"I'll pay you."

"I do not need the money."

"Okay. I'll do anything you want, then."

Her eyes lifted up to meet his. "Anything?"

He shrugged. "Well, most things. I find it a bit hard to touch the back of my head with the tip of my toes, so please don't ask me to do that."

A gentle smile curved onto her lips. "Okay."

His returning smile was radiant. "Does that mean you're in?"

"I am in," she said in a low voice, giving him a short nod.

His grin broadened. "Excellent." His green eyes searched deep into hers for a few more moments before he straightened up and went back to his own desk, and she breathed in, finding that his lingering scent gave her a sense of comfort she had never been able to find anywhere else.

.::.

Phase one of his plan – throwing her off the track – was complete. Tony felt slightly guilty as he stepped into the elevator, preparing to put phase two into action. Ziva had looked so trusting when she made him the promise, and it had almost caused him to tell her everything. But pranking her was too good an opportunity to miss. While he had vowed to himself never to lie to her, the temptation of seeing her react to his prank was just too strong.

He loved Ziva with all her colours; all her various faces. She was an incredible woman; she was calm and collected, wild and passionate, lively, brave, loyal, strong, and beautiful all at the same time. She was humorous, too, and that was the side of her that he really wanted to see. He wanted to make her laugh, at herself and at life, at everything; nothing on earth made him happier than hearing her laugh.

Autopsy was dark when the elevator doors finally opened. It was 2230; he had stayed until a time when everyone would have gone home, and he would be free to do as he wanted. He stepped through the sliding doors and was halfway across the vast room before he noticed the shadow moving in the corner. It froze mid-step and stood still, as if unsure of what to do next. Then it spoke.

"Tony?"

Tony's heart thudded in his chest as he answered.

"Abby. What are you doing here?"

.::.

A/N: Tada! I know, I couldn't resist a bit of Tiva. Next chapter is by Ash. Please review on your way out!

-_Soph_


	2. It Takes Two

**II. It Takes Two**

.::.

There's no debate when it comes to pranks and Abby. She loves it and usually - according to everyone – takes it a little too far. She'd already planned it out for this year, actually she'd had it all ready months before and boy was she excited to finally kick it all into action.

If her little hoax last year was any comparison to what she had in store this time around, then everyone should be on maximum alert. No, beyond maximum but that's statistically not possible. Either way, there was no way of getting around Abby. One way or the other everyone _will_ be pranked.

Her actual set up took place well into the night and into the morning, after everyone had bid their goodbyes and farewells. She worked well with the dark, and the dark worked well with her. She wasn't complaining.

She'd been at NCIS for eight years or so now, inching closer and closer to the big one-zero and it was safe to say she had probably pranked just about everyone in the office, individually that is. So that was how her brilliant idea had sparked and she wasn't being biased or anything but Ducky had popped up on her first-to-prank list.

Everything was going pretty darn well until she heard sounds from the elevator shaft, why it was even moving at such a late hour she had to question.

A draped body revealed itself as she pulled on one of the doors, "Not that one," she muttered to herself. Very quietly she slid the petty officer back in and found an empty freezer and stashed her gear in. She was fast enough to manage to lock the door but a little short on disappearing herself too.

She eyed the tall man that approached her and took a deep breath. It was show time.

"Hey Abby, what you doing here so late?" He flipped the switch on, illuminating the room into a tint of white. Both eyes squinted to the brightness.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"Copy cat."

"I don't answer and you answer okay?"

"What?"

"I don't know. It's just that Timmy's been acting a little strangely lately."

"And that has got what to do with you being here?"

"I came down here to think."At the border of her periphery she could see him scrutinizing her, his face tended to twitch in this odd but sort of cute way when he pondered.

"Okay, I buy it. Only cause… I'm here to think too." There was a pause of silence, both judging up the other.

"Okay, I buy it too… I'm gonna go now Tony, I will see you on Monday."

"I will also see you on Monday." Finally she made it out of his sight and averted her eyes towards the stairwell; she pushed the button for the elevator and hopped in. Very quickly she banged a number and made a dash for the door, with a gentle tug she slipped into the stairwell and positioned herself behind and waited.

.::.

Tony made sure the elevator sounded as its indication of 'coast is clear' before he made a start. Tempering with any of the bodies was definitely out of the question, Gibbs and Ducky would surely have his neck, not to mention maybe his job. Touching the equipment was dangerous, not only for Ducky but he'd probably hurt himself as well, and with a slight chance that whatever he manipulated them with might actually contaminate autopsy reports.

It was probably the oldest and most worn out trick in the book but it always worked, he dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a tube of super glue. He let out a muffled laugh and began to apply them on the floor.

It wasn't until the tube was completely empty that he realized that by the time Ducky or Palmer for that matter arrived, the glue would have dried up and prove to be a complete waste of time. He gave himself a head slap and wondered into the other room in search of something to clean up the mess.

"Ahh! Help!" he slammed the drawers shut and reappeared back into autopsy.

"Abby! What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?"

"We're going to go through this again?"

"Just help me Tony! What were you thinking placing glue on the floor!"

"It was an accident!" He stumbled back into the other room to grab the acetone.

"Oh really? You just so happen to have been carrying super glue on you and somehow, magically you twisted the child proof cap and then spilled it all over the floor in the shape of a square! I'm not stupid Tony!"

"Okay okay, I get it!" He began to apply the acetone, and clumsily spilled some on her new black platforms.

"Tony! Watch it! I love these shoes! I got them the other day for half price, if you wreck it completely you can go get me another one, and cause it's half price I will only feel half bad for making you fork out a good hundred to get me another pair." She grinned the widest smile he'd ever seen.

"I can't believe you spend so much on shoes."

"You can't say much for yourself Mr. Branded Italian Shoes."

"They're comfortable okay?"

"Well platforms are too, plus not only that, but it makes me taller."

"You're tall enough."

"Do you wanna try? I can guarantee that you'll switch to platforms over those pointy shoes if you do."

"No thank you."

"Oh don't worry it won't make you any less of a man, even McGee tried it."

"Exactly."

"But seriously Tony, was this a set up for Ducky or Jimmy?" he mumbled a yes in reply, "clearly you didn't think this through –"

"That was why I went to look for acetone to remove it before any damage could be done."

"I'm curious though, April Fools isn't until next Friday… you do know glue dries up within the duration of a week right?"

"Well this year I thought that maybe I would do 'prank week', it's just not enough time to cram everyone in one day."

"Oh I agree! OH MOTHER OF EINSTEIN! I've just got the most brilliant idea!"

"…"

"Why don't we team up? I've already got everything figured out and wouldn't you want to not be pranked and made a fool of for once?"

"Since I have no backup plan, I'll take you up on that offer."

"Awesome! This year's will be better than any other! I was thinking…" she lifted her platforms smoothly off of the glue and walked towards the freezer, "I think it was this one." With a quick peek it proved it was definitely not the freezer she had left her equipment in.

"You know how the Duck man always takes a glass of spirit every alternate night?"

"No… Ducky does that?"

"Yes he does, anyways I was thinking of putting coloring in them." Silence.

"That's it?"

"Well it's way better than _your_ idea!"

"I didn't say it was bad, I just thought you had more in mind, never mind."

"Good, oh and Tony?"

"Yes?" She extended her hand towards him and let her pinky hang in the air.

"Pinky promise you won't pull any pranks on me this year?" With a grunt he hooked his around hers and gave it a shake, "Alright let's get on with it!"

Abby had brought enough coloring to paint the whole autopsy, and they were probably better off doing that than turning whiskey into red liquid, Ducky would obviously miss that; clearly neither of them had thought of the effects of coloring. By the time they were finished, the clock on the wall read 0102. Abby was yawning at a record breaking rate, and she gave him a quick hug before she left for the night.

.::.

He strolled out to his car, glad that he had finally gotten some time alone; don't get him wrong he was glad for company from Abby, and that was something he could never complain about. But it had definitely been a long day and he hadn't had much sleep since the week began, which all seemed to be occurring a lot lately; his extra hours were raking in as quickly as the snow was melting.

He figured by the time he got around to using them he'd probably be retired, there was something that stopped him from taking those hours instead for a well-deserved and long-awaited holiday. But this was his life and he wasn't going to deny it, he loved it and everything that came with it.

Feeling a little more lifted than he had been after his failed attempt he hopped into his car and plunged the key into the hole, and then with a rough push the engine roared. Then died.

He tried again.

Roared.

Died.

Roared.

Died.

"You can't be kidding me!" He slammed his hand against the wheel and got out of the car to check on the engine. He lifted up the bonnet to find a note stuck firmly on the engine.

Sorry Tony, I did this before making the deal.  
-Abs.

He looked up to see his raven haired friend staring at him.

"Sorry."

"Does that mean I get to –"

"No. You can't break the power of a pinky promise Tony, you'll be cursed and then Captain uhh-Sparrow will come with his friends and rob you…"

"You just made that up."

"Yes, but I'll give you a ride home, and pay for the damages."

"What?"

"It's just fuel."

"Just take me home Abby."

"It would be my pleasure Tony." She grinned and bounced off towards her car on the far end, slowly and reluctantly he paced behind her. It was sure going to be a tough week.

.::.

**A/N:** Hello! It's me Ash, oh it's great to be back! Thank you all for the reviews, alerts and fav's. We love you and hope you enjoy this story!


	3. To Cause Suspicion

**III. To Cause Suspicion**

.::.**  
**

"What, Ziva?" Tony looked up impatiently from his work at Ziva as she eyed him suspiciously from her desk. She blinked, as if she hadn't expected him to realize that she had been drilling holes into his forehead for the past five minutes.

She leant over her table and propped herself up using her elbows. "Why did Abby give you a ride into work today?"

"My car broke down."

"Usually, you would call me when you need a ride."

"Well, I had a hearty breakfast this morning and I didn't want to throw up as a result of your crazy driving skills." Ziva sat back down, looking extremely put out. She turned away from him and started clicking away at her mouse. Tony frowned in confusion. "Abby owes me a favour," he reluctantly admitted.

"What kind of favour?" She asked coldly.

"Does it really matter?" Tony waved his hands exasperatedly. "Why are you asking anyway?"

Ziva glared at him. "The competition does not count if you enlist the help of another party, Tony."

"I didn't! Don't you have any faith in me at all?" Technically, it was Abby who had suggested that they team up, after all.

Ziva's gaze turned back to the computer screen. "I have too much faith in you," she muttered lowly, and Tony almost missed it.

He gulped, and was debating whether he should tell her everything when Gibbs walked in and saved the day. "Found another body, Rock Creek Park. McGee! You awake enough to drive?"

"Y-yeah, Boss." McGee answered hesitantly.

"Good. You're driving," Gibbs said shortly. He threw the keys to McGee, who caught them deftly as he got up and slung his backpack over his shoulder. Tony and Ziva followed his example, and the four of them were soon making their way to the elevator.

.::.

"Hello, Abby," Ziva greeted the goth as she stepped into the lab and walked up to the computer station. "Have we got anything yet?"

"Not quite. Ducky found these weird paint chips on both of the bodies, and I got Major Mass Spec to analyse the chemical composition, but I haven't been able to find anything that matches it yet." Abby pouted at the stubborn computer, on which several websites and colourful graphs were drawn up; but brightened immediately when she turned to Ziva and found the familiar object in her hand. "Oh yay, Caf-Pow!"

Ziva handed her the Caf-Pow! "What about the skin from underneath the second victim's fingernails?"

"Well, I sent them in for DNA analysis, but we're not gonna get the results back so fast." Abby took a sip of her drink, and then made a face, opened the lid of the cup, and spat back into it. "Earrgghh! Is this black coffee?"

Ziva looked at her, startled. "I do not know, Abby. Tony asked me to bring it to you. He said he was going to give it to you himself, but Gibbs sent him and McGee out to follow a lead."

"Hmm." Abby scrunched up her face. "When he comes back, could you please tell him that I want to see him?"

"Of course." Ziva studied her curiously.

Abby focused her attention back on her computer screen, praying that the expression on her face had not given anything away. "Thanks. I'll call Gibbs if I find anything."

"Okay." Ziva tore her eyes away and walked out of the lab, and Abby peered after her. She frowned. She and Tony were going to have to be more careful if they didn't want anyone finding out that they had made a pact to prank the entire team.

.::.

"Tony! I can't believe you put black coffee in my Caf-Pow! cup!" Abby turned to Tony and tried to look stern, but ended up with a rather cute expression on her face instead.

Tony shrugged nonchalantly. "It must've been the machine! They must have filled it up with the wrong coffee."

"Oh, that is such a lame lie! You broke our pinky promise."

"Technically, I didn't. You have no proof that it was my prank. Ziva gave you that Caf-Pow! anyway! Why aren't you looking at her?"

"Because she doesn't have a reason to prank me!"

"April Fools' is approaching. That's a pretty big reason in itself, if you ask me," Tony pointed out.

"'In itself'? As in there are other reasons for her to prank me?" Abby questioned in horror.

Tony opened and closed his mouth. "No. I was speaking hypothetically, like there might be…anyway, who are we pranking next?"

"Who do you want to prank? And by the way, you owe me a Caf-Pow!"

Tony nodded vaguely and leant against her computer station, thinking. "Have you ever pranked Director Vance before?"

"Of course I have! Don't you remember the time that I rigged the switchboard so that every call from outside NCIS would get redirected to his office phone?"

Tony grinned in reminiscent. "Oh yeah. It was kinda fun watching him get all…worked up…trying to figure out who did it."

"He never did find out," Abby said with satisfaction. "So what are we gonna do this time?"

"Well, I was thinking of this."

.::.

"Hey…do you guys know Janice from Accounting?" McGee said in a troubled tone, looking up at his colleagues.

"With the bug-like eyes and unfortunate lack of hair? Yeah, we know her. Why?" Tony swivelled around in his chair to look at McGee.

"Uh, well…she left me a message on my desk." McGee paused.

"And?" Tony prompted.

McGee took a deep breath. "She says she would like to have dinner with me one night…and could I please call her when I get this message."

Tony roared with laughter. "Call her then, _Timmy_!"

"I…uh…well…Tony, she's not exactly my type, if…if you know what I mean."

"What, bald? I guess not," Tony replied happily, "But you're her type."

"Well she's not really…you know, bald…she shaved her head. Uh…" McGee trailed off and stared down at the paper in his hands, mulling over the idea.

"Yo-" Tony began.

"You're free to go!" Gibbs barrelled into the bullpen and grabbed his coat from the back of his chair. "Not you, DiNozzo. You have a drinking session with Ducky tonight," he added as Tony stood up eagerly. A subdued Tony was left to watch his retreating back.

"Why do you have a drinking session with Ducky tonight?" Ziva's lilted tones floated over to Tony as she gracefully shrugged on her coat.

"Because I dyed his Scotch red," he answered gloomily, and Ziva gaped at him.

A sudden crash turned their attention to McGee, and they found him on the floor with his tipped-over chair beside him; he was nursing one shoulder delicately.

"A little too excited over your date, McBalancingIssues?"

"No," McGee replied grumpily, "There's something wrong with my bag. I don't remember it being so heavy this morning." He unzipped the bag and gawked into it.

"What?" Tony asked.

McGee looked up. "Who put rocks in my bag?" He asked incredulously.

Tony turned his glance sideways towards Ziva, who was cracking up into silent laughter behind her desk.

"I am sorry, McGee. It was an opportunity too good to pass up," she gasped.

"That wasn't very nice, Ziva. My shoulder hurts." McGee rubbed his shoulder and got up. "And where is all my stuff?"

Stifling her laughter, Ziva obligingly pulled out a stash from under her desk and walked across the bullpen to hand it over. Then she upturned the bag and poured out the rocks. Patting it off gently, she returned the bag to McGee. "Good as new."

McGee flashed her an unreadable expression before putting his things into his bag. "Alright guys, I'll see you tomorrow." He quickly left the bullpen.

Tony got up from his desk and went over to Ziva. "Rocks. Not bad. But don't you think the idea is just a little overused?"

Ziva narrowed her eyes slightly at him. "Better than trying to dye Scotch red."

Her voice tickled his skin and ran down his spine. He opened his mouth, but for the life of him could not think of an appropriate answer.

Ziva gave a throaty chuckle, her breath ghosting down his neck and flirting with the edges of his shirt collar. "Goodnight, Tony." She brushed past him, and the tinkling ding which echoed around the bullpen a few seconds later made it feel just that tiniest bit colder to him.

.::.

A/N: Promptness doesn't work sometimes. *Sheepish* Tiva does! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Ash is doing the next one. Please review on your way out, and thanks for all your support!

-_Soph_


	4. Too Good to Be True

**A/N: **Both Soph and I would like to thank those who have caught on with this story and reviewed. We love you all!

.::.

**IV. Too Good to Be True**

.::.

He knew he'd be copped out for it eventually, especially when it came to Ducky. Not only was Ducky wise but he was an expert analyst, he had the whole team figured out and that even included both Gibbs and Ziva. And to add to it, being practically labeled as the class clown didn't side his argument.

As the metal box descended down towards the bottom floor, he loosened his tie and undid the top button and with a gulping breath he exited through the open doors and entered autopsy. There was no going back now.

"Ahh Anthony, how nice of you to join me," Tony scanned the cold room for the medical examiner, Ducky smiled from the corner of the room, his eyes trained on the brim of the glass in his hand. This was going to be weird.

"Hey Ducky…" Tony parked himself against the metal table, cautiously observing his surroundings, Ducky could be quite a surprise sometimes, "how's it going?"

"I am fine, now what I wanted to talk to you about is your behavior my boy, multiple tests and studies have concluded that the impulse to pull hoaxes is one derived from an intense sexual frustration –"

"WOAH! Stop right there Ducky, of all things, I am not sexually frustrated –"

"They also say that an immediate denial is a denial to one's self, so I don't mind this…" he waved his hand around to indicate the liquor on the shelf, "what I do mind though, is that of your well being."

"Right…"

"So my question to you my dear boy is, is there anything you would like to talk to me about? Anything wrong as of late?"

"Yes…no…"

"You hesitated –"

"Yes because if I answered no immediately you'd tell me that would be denying myself," Tony cracked a goofy smile.

"Yes it is quite contradictive isn't it?"

"I'm going to go now…"

"Anthony." Tony's expensive Italian loafers squeaked as he swiveled back around to face him.

"Yes?"

"I'm just messing with you," autopsy filled with the laughter of both men, "now onto something more serious, could there be any possible chance that we could team up to prank some of the other team members?"

"Are you serious?" Tony held back his great itch to burst into laughter. This was all too good to be true; he'd got everyone – well nearly everyone – fooled into thinking that he was on their side.

"Well, I've been working here at NCIS for so long now, and I've never participated in this annual ritual that everyone seems to enjoy and looks forward to every year, I think it is about time that I took part in this, and to be frank it seems like a whole lot of fun."

"Alright Duckman," Tony grinned and took a seat on the bench top, ready to begin his new partnership with the older man.

"So where do we start?" Ducky offered Tony a glass of transparent liquid, which he accepted thankfully.

"Well, who do you want to prank first?" The two exchanged a look and a smile crept upon both faces.

.::.

"Damnit!" McGee sighed with frustration; he shut his eyes and dropped his head to the desk.

"What is the matter McGee?" Ziva asked, her fingers tickled the keyboard and her eyes glued to her the brightly lit screen in front of her.

"Someone stole my credit card again –"

"You have something with chicks who like to steal your stuff don't cha McScammed?" Tony laughed, hopped to his feet and strode across to McGee's desk. McGee eyed him closely as he poked around the desk.

"Can't you just cancel the card?" Ziva joined them after finally losing interest in her work and made her way over.

"Well, that's the problem; the bank won't even believe that I am Timothy McGee!" The look on McGee's face was priceless, "I mean, does that not look like me?" A picture of a much younger McGee flashed on the screen.

"Well you have lost quite a considerable amount of weight, maybe you need to head downtown to get it all puzzled out." Ziva pushed Tony aside to get a closer look.

"I think you mean figured out, Ziva," he stuck his head between McGee and Ziva, "Well, I am incredibly sorry for you Timmy, but good luck though, " Tony backed away, a ridiculously large grin on his face and continued with his work.

"Yes, I am very sorry too," Ziva gave a polite smile and gave him a little pat on the shoulder for comfort.

"I guess I have to go down to the bank branch and get it all sorted out."

"That'll have to wait Elf Lord –" the aromatic stream of coffee strode in with its master and invaded the bullpen.

"But the credit is going up by the thousands –" McGee whined and then regretted it when Gibbs stopped in front of his desk. The younger agent squirmed under the scrutiny of blue eyes, relief washed over when they softened with understanding.

"Okay, you go get it sorted out and meet us there," Gibbs slipped the address onto his desk and headed for the elevator, "you two hurry up, you're still with me!"

The two agents grabbed their gears and scrambled out of the bullpen, and skimmed in just in time before the doors of the elevator closed.

.::.

"DiNozzo."

"Yes, boss?" Tony played with his hair in the reflection of the window.

"Did you mess with McGee's account?"

"Hahaha, are you serious boss?"

"…"

"Of course you are, boss I–"

"Tony can't even work his computer properly Gibbs, I doubt he could ever pull off such a difficult task." Ziva pitched in, her voice rich with confidence.

"Hey! That's mean Ziva," he poked her side and earned him a little squeal, "but it's true boss I couldn't have done it to save my life."

"Ziva?"

"I would never."

"…Gibbs?" they both asked in unison before breaking out into a hysteria of laughter.

.::.

They had arrived at the scene fifteen minutes before McGee finally showed up, and he looked even more pissed off. Tony and Ziva exchanged a quick glance before returning back to bagging and tagging.

"How did it go McGee?" Gibbs appeared at the door.

"Not very well boss, the bank finally believed that I was indeed Timothy McGee but they refused to believe that someone stole my card and went on a ridiculous shopping spree, " McGee groaned as he started taking pictures, "I showed them my shopping patterns and what I've bought over the last year, and I mean it was clearly obvious that it is not me."

"I would have to agree." Ziva nodded her head.

"Then they said that my 'thoroughness' of my assumptions of what happened was coming from my trying to scam them."

"I feel for you Probie, how much did she total up?" Tony rose to his feet and packed away his equipment.

"As of now, nearly ten thousand."

"Ouch." Ziva and Tony mirrored and exited the house, McGee watched them with scrutiny, they were acting way too cool about this situation. They were up to something, he knew it.

.::.

"I can hear you my silver-haired fox," Abby smirked as soft footsteps entered her lab.

"I'm not Gibbs, but close enough," Tony closed the door and snuck up to her side.

"Whatever do you mean? I can see the grey making its way in –"

"Abs."

"You closed the door. What's up? How did it go?" Abby minimized her tests and pulled up their master plan. She'd gone all out and animated with all the whiz with audio and special effects.

"Wow, someone's had a lot of free time on their hands, huh?" Abby smiled in reply, "You're a genius, the banks don't even believe McGee's story, how did you do it?"

"It's a secret Tony, and you know about rule four."

"Your rule four or the Bossman's?"

"Gibbs' of course, anyways I was thinking of going like all out and put a hundred thousand on his card but then I thought that maybe they probably wouldn't buy it cause it would look all too planned and rigged."

"Who would've thought."

"Watch your sarcasm."

"Sorry."

"Anyways I heard about your little talk with the Duckman last night, how did it go? I mean did he interrogate you? You have to be careful with Ducky cause he's just so good at reading people that you really have to watch what you do, like don't fidget too much but don't fidget too little, and you have to do all that without thinking… It's frustrating sometimes."

"Tell me about it." Tony was so glad that Abby didn't seemed to insistent on the answer, because she could sniff out a lie a mile away and he was a bare few inches away. It would've been like a billboard on top of his head, advertising his lie.

"So did he catch you? Oh! You know when I pranked the Director, he employed Ducky to his side and had me interrogated, and… and that's the story." Her face went blank for a second, like she'd lost her train of thought, which was quite entertaining to watch.

"Story of what?"

"Of how I know how Ducky interrogates," she said it like it was the most obvious of things. Tony stifled a laugh and continued.

"What we gonna do about the Bossman? It's gonna be the hardest but the best of all, but I have a feeling I'll have a sore head for at least a month."

"I've already got it all planned out, so don't you worry my second favourite man."

"Who's first?"

"Gibbs of course, so be happy with second!"

.::.

**A/N:** The end is coming soon... keep a close eye for it! XD Review on you way out, Thankies!


	5. Three Birds, One Stone

**V. Three Birds, One Stone**

.::.**  
**

The strangled yell that came from the director's office made everyone's head pop up in alarm; the quiet mid-afternoon peace had been broken, and they were now wondering what had been done to piss Vance off so much. The corners of Tony's mouth twitched as he imitated the others' actions in looking as the door flew open with a sudden bang and Vance came striding out, radiating anger. "Gibbs!" He roared, glaring down at the Major Case Response Team. Gibbs obligingly got up from his desk and waited in the middle of the bullpen as the director marched downstairs and came to a stop in front of him. "I want to know which member of _your team _thought that it would be a _smart idea_ to prank me."

"What are you talking about, Leon? What makes you think my team pranked you?"

Vance stepped right up to him, and despite his shorter stature, shot him a look that would've made a lesser person quake in his boots. "Because only your team is _stupid _enough to think that pranking me wouldn't result in their immediate suspension."

Gibbs looked serenely back at him. "Calm down, Leon. What, you gonna suspend them all?"

"I just might," Vance spat out, and then turned on his heels and stormed off towards the elevator.

Gibbs surveyed the bullpen with his icy blue eyes. "Which one of you did it?"

"It wasn't me, Boss," McGee assured him anxiously.

"It was not me either. I am not that crazy," Ziva pointed out.

"Guess that leaves you, DiNozzo." Gibbs's eyes met Tony's.

"Aw Boss, how could you think – yeah, it was me." Tony squirmed under the scrutiny.

"Well what the hell did you do to him?"

"Fixed his plasma to show 'It's a Small World' over and over again."

"Of all the stupid things, DiNozzo. _Fix it back_." Gibbs went back to his desk and sat down disgruntledly.

"Yes, Boss," Tony replied meekly. He sighed under his breath. He was going to have to sneak away to Abby's at lunchtime again.

.::.

Having Ziva appear in the men's room was not unusual. Having her appear in the men's room when he could think of nothing important that they had to talk about was. Which was why Tony worried when she walked in while he was halfway through washing his hands; and then stepped up to the basin and contemplated him like he was an unusual species of insect.

"What?" He finally asked her as he turned off the tap and held out his hand for a tissue.

She plucked one out of the holder and handed it to him. "You know, I did not make the connection when I said that you could not pull off such a difficult task as hacking into McGee's account. But now I do. You had help. You also had help with pranking Director Vance."

He gave a short disbelieving laugh. "That's nonsense! I don't have anyone's help that I can get."

"You have Abby's."

"And what makes you think I got her help?"

"Well, you needed someone with the skills, and obviously it was not McGee or you would not have pranked him. So the only logical person left is Abby, and this is supported by the fact that she admitted it when I questioned her."

"You actually interrogated Abby?"

"Questioned."

"Hmm." Tony made a face at her. "And what did she say?"

"That you and she made a pact to prank the entire team. Apparently, that includes Vance. But that is not the important thing. The important thing is, you broke the rules of the competition, and now you must be punished for it."

"We didn't actually set any rules."

"That is true, but we always have the unspoken rule."

"Which is?"

"Never screw over your partner."

Tony fell silent. Ziva was right, he _had _screwed her over. And it was the tiniest of screw-overs, but she was his Ziva, after all, and that made all the difference in the world. "Alright," he whispered. "What do you want me to do?"

Ziva tilted her head back thoughtfully. "I want you to confess to Abby about our little competition. After that, I want you to tell her that I want in."

"In?" Tony looked up in confusion.

"Yes. In with your…pact…thingy. I still have a lot of people to prank, and joining the two of you would save me the trouble of having to come up with good ideas."

"Okay. That's easy enough."

"Well, there is more. Gibbs just gave me a list of persons to interview about the two victims." She produced from behind her back a rolled-up sheet that he hadn't noticed earlier and dumped it unceremoniously into his hands. "It is yours now."

"What?" Tony squeaked. "You know I really hate interviewing people."

"I do. And that is why I call it a punishment." She gave him a triumphant grin.

Tony made a noise of protest. "But…couldn't you give me a punishment that I would like better or something?"

She raised her eyebrows. "I could, but I would call it a reward then. You should get started on the list, Tony; it is quite long." She inclined her head towards the list in a teasing manner, and patted him gently on the cheek before leaving the restroom.

.::.

The slap to the back of her head was not entirely unexpected, and Ziva looked up unapologetically as Gibbs's questioning eyes met hers and then flicked over to where Tony was miserably dialling through numbers and talking to people whom she was supposed to have been interviewing. She shrugged and told him, "He understands why."

Gibbs rolled his eyes and went over to his own desk, and Ziva was picking up her pen to resume her work when Tony slammed the phone receiver into its cradle. "Again with the stupid jokes!"

"Problem, Tony?" Ziva asked sweetly.

Tony growled. "I need to talk to you now. In the elevator."

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked at the senior field agent.

Tony gritted his teeth. "Yes, Boss?"

Gibbs frowned. "Play nice," he said in a tone that was not ungentle.

"Yes, Boss. Ziva? Elevator?"

Ziva got up and went into the elevator with Tony; the doors had barely shut upon them when he slammed on the emergency brakes and took a deep breath. "Please." He turned to Ziva. "Ziva, _please_ find me something else to do."

Ziva feigned surprise. "Why?"

"You know why. This is like chopping me up into a million tiny little pieces and then dipping me into acid piece by piece and then swirling it all around a bit."

Ziva wrinkled her nose. "Erghh."

"Yeah. So I'm begging you to let me do something else. Do you want me to get down on my knees? Cause-"

"No, Tony, I do not want you to get down on your knees. But I myself do not like interviewing them," she said in her best 'at a lost' voice, as if it were a dilemma of epic proportions.

"I can get McGee to do them for you."

"No – oh!" Ziva's eyes widened, and she smiled at her partner. "Here is what you can do, Tony. I will do the interviews, but you are going to do everything McGee asks you to for the next month. That is your punishment for lying to Abby and to me, and for always getting McGee to do your work. You see? I am killing three birds with one stone."

"Um-"

"We are settled, then?" She beamed at him as she flipped the emergency brakes. The doors slid open and she started walking enthusiastically towards the bullpen. "McGee! I have some excellent news for you."

.::.

Gibbs was the first in to work the next morning, and he looked at his desk with something akin to shock as he approached it and discovered that it was entirely covered with coffee cups; ones that appeared to be filled, too. More cups were arranged at random intervals on the floor of his cubicle, a small circle played Mary-Go-Round around the spindly legs of his chair, and a single one oversaw them proudly from atop the filing cabinet; it came complete with a smiley face and a _Happy April Fools' Week! _written in black marker.

He frowned at it, and then slung his jacket carefully over the back of his chair. Slowly he began to collect the coffee cups, lining them up in neat rows in the empty spot beside his filing cabinet. Then he took the single cup down and put it in a spot of glory, next to his computer monitor, and watched as an agent walked tiredly down the dimly lit corridor. "Hey, Cooper, want a cup of coffee? I've got some." He offered a cup to the well-built man.

"Thanks, Gibbs." Cooper took the coffee and left the bullpen. He was one of few words, just like his colleague was.

Settling down at his desk, Gibbs turned on his computer and prepared to get to work. He periodically offered coffee to his colleagues as they passed by him. Daylight was starting to trickle in when his team members showed up; he took up the last three coffee cups and thunked them down on his desk. "Saved the last three for you," he said, and the mouths of all three fell open. "You want them or not? Cause I see more agents coming in."

The three obediently trotted over to get the coffee. "Did you buy these, Boss?" McGee asked curiously.

"Nope. Found 'em on my desk this morning."

"You sure it's not poison?" Tony held up his coffee cup and sniffed it; Ziva glanced at him and followed suit.

Gibbs looked up at them. "Guess you'll find out when you drink it." Tony's expression was one of horror. "Relax, will you? It's just someone's idea of a prank."

"Whose?" Ziva asked, and the agents all looked at each other as her question lingered in the air, tasting of mystery and fun.

.::.

A/N: And this is my last chapter for this story! Fear not, there's still Ash's last chapter :) thanks to everyone who's reviewed, favourited, and supported us! Please leave another review on your way out, because we do so love receiving them!

-_Soph_


	6. Failure: Number Two

**VI. Failure: Number Two**

.::.

"Alright so who have we covered so far?" The two agents and scientist huddled together in the middle of the lab, the doors closed for the special occasion.

"Well, the bossman got his fair share this morning, though I'm still not sure who did it," Abby glanced over at her partners in crime suspiciously, "But that's done, Gibbs doesn't take it very well when he's humiliated, the coffee trick was good," All three nodded their heads," Vance is done, McGee's done, thanks to Ziva of course and Ducky, though that was a miserable failure to begin with –"

"Don't complain, I pulled it off, okay? Just maybe not as well with the part about staying clear of suspicion."

"You will never stay clear of suspicion Tony –" Ziva snorted.

"Why not?"

"You are who you are, remember? I need say no more." The group paused in silence as the two agents stared at each other, almost as they were connecting on a whole new level. A large-smiling Abby reluctantly sliced the comfort between the two.

"Oh! And don't forget, I've already gotten you Tony, but that was before any of this whole collaboration, mix, alliance, partnership or maybe more of a trio-ship started, I'll count it anyways… PALMER!"

"Shhh." The two agents hushed the excited scientist as she bounced up and down like an annoying wind-up toy that vibrated for extremely long amounts of time.

"Right," the raven haired scientist bounced to a stop and her voice dropped to a whisper, "We haven't gotten Palmer yet."

"That mission has already been completed." A cheeky smile formed on the Israeli's lips. Tony and Abby stumbled backwards and glanced at each other.

"Spill!" The two took a seat on the benches behind, like two kids keen to hear a bedtime story.

"Well, it went a little bit like this…"

_Ziva wedged herself between the tightly fitted spot as she waited for her target to fall for her cleverly placed bait and just as she planned he walked right into it. _

_Palmer strolled around the corner his eyes aimed straight for the elevator, but as he approached closer he spotted something odd out of the corner of his eye, it took him a moment to realize it was snake. Scared shit, he sprinted back towards where he came; squealing. _

_With her plan gone exactly the way she wanted she approached her bait and wound up the toy, ready for an encore. This time she slipped into the storeroom, just in case someone spotted her. And just like a blind man walking into a trap, Palmer was back, this time with Larry the mailman at his tail._

"_See there it is!" Palmer pointed towards the still wriggling toy snake from the corner of the corridor._

"_That?" Larry, clearly unafraid stepped up to the snake and picked it up bare-handed._

"_BECAREFUL! It could be poisonous!"_

"_Kid, it's a toy," The mailman shook his head and walked back towards Palmer, "Relax kid." Clearly upset and embarrassed, Palmer walked off with the toy snake hanging freely on his shoulder. Ziva fought hard not to burst out into a full on laughter, and just before she got out of ear shot, she heard voices around the corner._

"_Oh My!" it was a female voice most definitely, "is that a real snake?"_

"_Uhh oh yes! I caught it myself…"_

Tony and Abby gazed longingly at Ziva as she clasped her hands together proud of her accomplishment.

"Wow, who knew Palmer was such a flirt!"

"I thought he has a girlfriend!" Abby gasped.

"I heard they were on a little on time –"

"Off time." Tony corrected her.

"Fine. Off Time. Anyways I guess I did him more of a favor than anything else, but I have to say, Palmer screams like a girl, it is quite terrifying really."

"I can't believe I missed it," Tony pouted. With a smirk on her face, Ziva pulled out her cell phone.

.::.

"I don't get it boss, I was sure I fixed your computer just two days ago," McGee scratched his head as he began to decipher the problem he was faced with.

"Well, yeh McGee, that was before I hit it." Gibbs looked down at his agent with blue innocent eyes.

"Boss, you can't keep smashing up these computers, they're here to aid you –"

"Yeh, I know, target practice. Fix it, McGee." Gibbs exited the bullpen, coffee in hand.

"What's up McGoo?" Tony and Ziva joined McGee as he played around with the wires.

"I need to invent a Gibbs-proof computer."

"Did he hit it again?" Ziva eyed McGee sympathetically as the death screen flashed onto the monitor.

"Or you could just get him a type writer, he only ever does type stuff on that computer, and I think he'd appreciate that no one can hack into it, since… well, y'know." Tony grinned, leaning against Ziva's desk as she booted up her computer.

"I'm sure he'll find some way to do something with that," McGee mumbled, his head popped up from under the table, clearly wary of his words.

"Yeh, he does hate the red tape. Guess you're gonna live with fixing computers every second day then McMaintenance."

"Haha To-nee!" sarcasm never really wore well on McGee.

"You should not be so harsh on McGee, Tony." Ziva looked up to see Tony towering over her.

"Why? Is my ninja afraid to patch up ol' elf lord over there?" A fist aimed at his gut and Tony clenched in pain.

"Thanks Ziva."

"That was not for you –"

"Thhhenn… whyyy?" Tony grabbed his stomach dramatically and dropped to his knees.

"Much better." She patted him on the head; he leant against her desk while she continued to play with his hair, unaware how strange their interactions were. Two agents. Clearly a red light situation.

"What are you two doing?" McGee's puzzled face snuck up from under the desk again.

"It's not what it looks like!"Tony jumped to his feet, acting as if he'd been caught by the headmaster for vandalizing the toilets. McGee rolled his eyes and resumed his task to fix Gibbs' computer.

.::.

The end of the day had finally arrived and Ziva was extremely glad that they'd crack the case in time for her to enjoy a relaxing weekend. She hadn't had one in awhile, and she planned to spend it with a cup of hot tea and a book, curled up on her soft fluffy couch.

"You guys head home when you're all done," Gibbs announced as he left the bullpen.

"Where you goin' boss? The elevator's that… way…" Puzzled, Tony shrugged his shoulders and continued to pack his bag.

"I think Ducky is out for a talk," Tony's eyes shot up and his mouth hung agape, "What?"

"Never mind. Hey, McGee you free tonight?"

"Uhh, not really…"

"What? What else could you be doing?"

"I just don't feel like hanging out Tony," McGee zipped up his bag and walked through the bullpen, "maybe another time." Tony watched him disbelievingly as he walked into the elevator.

"Aww, poor you Tony, McGee is all grown up now," Ziva commented nonchalantly, a slight hint of tease ringing through. With a cheeky smile, Tony chuckled and left.

From instinct Ziva's eyes darted around, Tony never smiled like that without a reason. He must've done something. Finding nothing out of place, she pushed it aside; maybe she was just being paranoid, he did promise not to anyways. But as she left, she opted for the stairs instead; she just couldn't take her chances and let Tony ruin her plans for the weekend.

.::.

When she finally made it to her door, she was met with her neighbor, and she wasn't looking very happy.

"Ziva, I don't know if you forgot to or not, but you left your radio on all day, set to the highest volume," the woman looked a little guilty then, "I had to break in and turn it down, I really didn't want to get the police involved."

Ziva glanced over at her door's lock, it was completely trashed, parts of the wood around it had splintered and she really wanted to ask her neighbor why she didn't bother asking the landlord, and instead broke her door which would now take time and money to fix.

None the less, she wasn't going to shout at her neighbor, "Oh that is okay, I am sure I turned it off actually, but I must have forgotten." With a slight curtsey the woman disappeared back into her apartment.

Ziva pushed open her door, careful not to splinter herself. Sighing at the damage she shut the door. Then something in her mind clicked.

She didn't own a radio.

Her senses kick to high alert as she flipped on the light switch and pulled her gun out, she gasped at the sight of the illuminated room. Vases were broken, books were thrown everywhere, red liquid was spilled on her carpet and she really hoped it wasn't blood. With a firm hand she walked towards the red patch, and as she kneeled down a husky voice came from behind her.

"This is the end." Ziva nearly shot the person dressed in rags and painted in green until she realized something odd.

"Abby?"

"Abby's over here." Another voice came from the opposite side of the room, this one painted in blue and wearing what seemed to be an Indian tribal costume. She holstered her gun and looked at her two friends, and out of nowhere she burst out into fits of laughter.

"Tony! Abby! You're paying for all the damages!" The laughing stopped.

"Aww come on! That didn't freak you out even a little bit?" Tony whined, pulling off the ridiculous hat that he was wearing.

"Don't worry Ziva, all these things are staged, we would never damage your stuff, these are all fake." Abby smiled from ear to ear.

"And the door?"

"Umm, I'll fix that," Tony raised his hand, "by the way, what gave us away?"

"I do not understand what you are trying to ask."

"How did you know it was us?"

"Well aside from the fact Abby is still wearing her dog collar –"

"See I told you, you should've taken it off!" Tony interrupted.

"But it looked so cool with this costume, don't you think?" Two awaiting eyes returned back to her.

"I could recognize your hair." Two pair of eye brows shot up.

"Wow Ziva! I don't think I could ever identify Tony with just his hair, well I mean I guess I could if I ran some tests on it and that'd be really easy but… Wow!"

"Let's clean this up Abby, I'm hungry." Tony suggested and before Ziva could object, the two raced around her apartment like maniacs and within a few minutes everything was put back into their original places.

Tony pulled out a plastic bag of Chinese food as they all settled in her TV area.

"Oh Ziva, about your door, I'll have to fix it tomorrow, I don't have any of the tools with me that I need."

"It is okay, I will just put something there to block it."

"I'll stay if you want; it can get a bit scary with an unlocked door and all." Tony suggested.

"Oh my god! Yes! Let's have a sleepover!" Abby buzzed in, her face lit up like the fourth of July.

"You are not going to take no for an answer, are you?"

"Nop."

.::.

A/N: And yeh.. that's it. Thanks to the few for dropping by and reading and reviewing, always appreciated. Our next story will be more Tiva based so stay tuned for that! Lots of love. 3


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